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Marijuana was the first thing I tried when I was 12 years old. I smoked marijuana for two years, and jumped to LSD—a common drug at rave parties. When I was around 14, I did acid. After I tried acid, there was no looking back, and I used all of the hot club drugs—GHB, microdots, mushrooms and any hallucinogenic I could get my hands on.
By the time I was 17, I was responsible enough to live on my own with roommates. One afternoon, I stumbled upon them using crystal meth in our apartment. I wasn’t really interested in trying meth because I had tried cocaine before, and I didn’t like it. Cocaine and speed were never my thing because the come down was different. I eventually joined my friends in doing speed on a daily basis. I was able to still work and handle my business, using my favorite hallucinogenics on the weekends, and meth on a daily basis.
Shortly after I started using meth, my life started to unravel quickly. My disease masked everything. I was telling myself that everything was okay, and that I could keep using and hold myself together on the outside. I knew in my heart that it wasn’t the truth. I moved out of the apartment with my roommates and moved back home to get away from the meth environment, but it didn’t work. I was already hooked and the drug controlled me. The drug cravings and the pull of the social environment was stronger than my will to quit. I actually stayed away from my usual crowd for a few months, but started doing meth on my own.
Looking back, my parents didn’t have a clue about my drug use all throughout school, so they probably thought that I was just a rebellious teen back then. But when I returned home addicted to meth, they started to notice. My whole persona changed and my perception of reality was warped. I was a total head case, and there was no way to hide my madness because I simply wasn’t me anymore. My family attempted an intervention, but I escaped through a window, and never received the benefit of the gift that had been offered to me.
When my addiction was at its worst, my days and nights blurred, so my time perception was way off because I didn’t sleep. I would normally go three to five days without sleep, but at my worst, I would stay up for two weeks and crash for a week. Near the end, the drugs weren’t working for me, and it took double or triple the amount for me to get high. Using wasn’t fun anymore because it cost more to get more drugs just to have a moderate high. I was always stressed out about how I was going to get my next fix what I had to steal to get it. I have been to jail several times during the years of my drug use, and I was never scared straight.
The one thing that kept me from being eternally lost to drug addiction was my fear of losing my family’s trust and love. My sister read an article about the PROMETA Treatment Program, and showed it to my mom. My mom told me at the right time in my life when I was exhausted and wanted a change. I wanted a change, but my disease didn’t want me to get help. It kept telling me that my family was the enemy and that drugs were my friends.
I seemed to be able to get a handle on my life for a few months when I started working at a new job, but I slowly started buying drugs here and there. I thought I was in control and that I could use drugs like a “gentleman.” Who was I kidding? I wasn’t in control, and I certainly wasn’t a gentleman. I quit my job and adopted the routine of my addiction. Most people get up each day and go to work, but I would hit the streets, see my friends and score drugs. I had become a robot to the drugs.
I remember looking at my friends one day, and noticed that they were all older than me, and that they actually had real problems—problems that might explain why they were using drugs. I didn’t have a reason to continue my behavior because, in my mind, I was never like them, and never wanted to become them. I knew that I was smarter than the person I had become. So, I chose to fight for my life, and agreed to do the PROMETA Treatment Program.
The PROMETA Treatment Program was my first attempt to save myself. When I walked into the PROMETA Center® I thought I knew what rehab was about from books I had read or movies that I had seen. I was scared that there would be two big guys waiting there for me to haul me off and take me away. But when I walked into the facility it was so non-threatening and unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. My sister and her husband came with me, and were able to ask questions. It was good for them to be there, and very calming for me to have them there. The PROMETA Center was extremely upscale and professional, but the people there are really caring and very down-to-earth. Right away, I knew that they were really there to help me and to put me at ease.
Life after the PROMETA Treatment Program is full of promise for me. Before the PROMETA Treatment Program, I could see a picture or a movie showing people using drugs, which would have triggered something in my brain to start my cravings. Now, I can see the same images, and I can’t remember what it feels like to be high. Now, I have a clear mind to realize that I didn’t have to sacrifice myself to get clean. I continue to participate in post-treatment support, and am now employed. My relationship with my girlfriend, of nearly three years, and my family are 100% better. Of all the people that I knew who were addicted to meth, I was the worst case.
Adrian
